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Getting a good night’s sleep is extremely important for your overall health and wellness. Part of that health includes emotional health; if you are chronically sleep-deprived, you may begin to feel the emotional toll it takes on you, and if you are in a committed partnership, emotional health matters doubly. No couple wants to wake up next to a person who snaps at them when they say good morning! Ensuring you have the right mattress can eliminate exhaustion, obviously, but also crankiness. The right mattress can have a powerful effect on your relationship as it can lead to peaceful sleep, good sex, and happier days with your partner.
Of course, mattress buying is not as simple as going online and picking out the first mattress you see. There are many important things to think about when purchasing a mattress even just for yourself, but add another person and the things you need to consider double. Do we both like the same firmness level? Is this bed going to have enough motion isolation so I don’t feel him/her moving? What about sex; will the bed be too loud? This process can feel a bit overwhelming, and maybe even be a challenge (like putting together IKEA furniture…), but we are here to simplify the mattress buying process and give you some good points to consider when buying a mattress with your special someone.
Points to Consider
When purchasing a new mattress with a partner, there are several things to consider and discuss as a couple.
- Motion Isolation: Do either of you move frequently throughout the night? Is one or both of you a light sleeper who would be disturbed by frequent motion? These can be hot topics with a couple; no one likes to get woken up throughout the night. If this has been an issue for you and your partner, you may consider a bed with a high level of motion isolation. Motion isolation is also an important consideration when it comes to sex, as you might actually want a little less motion isolation for that versus sleeping where you want more motion isolation. Along the same lines of motion, isolation is the noise factor. Will you hear your partner tossing and turning as well as feeling them? Talk through these needs with your partner so you can determine how much or how little motion isolation you need as a couple.
- Combined weight: Most mattresses have a weight limit, and with two people sleeping in one bed, you may possibly exceed that limit. If you do exceed a mattress’s weight limit, that will shorten the lifespan of your bed, and lead to premature sagging. If that is the case, there are plenty of options for heavier-weight sleepers that you and your partner could look into.
- Mattress Firmness and Feel: This is a tough one. Mattresses come in a variety of firmness levels, scaled 1-10. Lighter-weight people may need a softer mattress, whereas heavier couples may want a firmer mattress. Side sleepers may need a softer mattress to alleviate pressure points, and back or stomach sleepers may need a firmer mattress to get adequate spinal support. See how this can get complicated when shopping for two? Some couples have vastly different comfort levels, and maybe even firmness needs due to weight or back issues. If you and your partner fall into that category, there are dual firmness or split options for you. If your needs are not on the opposite ends of the firmness spectrum, you can likely reach a happy middle ground and compromise to find a bed that fits you both. A mattress feel is related to firmness as it has to do with the conforming qualities. Someone with significant joint or back pain may need a more conforming bed to help alleviate pressure points, but a heavier weight back sleeper may need a less conforming bed to help with spinal alignment. Again, these are all important discussions to have with your partner so that you can hopefully reach a happy compromise.
- Sex: Sleeping is not the only activity most couples do in the bedroom, and sex is an important consideration when shopping for a bed to share with your special someone. A lot of couples find that more bouncy mattresses like an innerspring, hybrid, or even latex are better for sex because their responsiveness helps support the movements you’re making. On the other hand, foam mattresses that you sink down into while sleeping tends to envelop you and stop any bouncing movements in their tracks; this is great for sleeping, but not so great for sexual activity. Another important consideration is whether or not your mattress will be too noisy for sex? You do not want to have the whole house hear your squeaky mattress. Whatever you and your partner find the most fun and comfortable is what is the most important.
- Support: Having a supportive mattress can make all the difference to some people that are experiencing back or joint pain. Supportive does not necessarily equate to firmness level, though as mentioned above, that is a serious consideration, too. Support refers to the ability to keep a flat surface while being used; when two people share a mattress sometimes that mattress can begin to sag in the middle due to not being supportive enough for both parties. Making sure you and your partner get a mattress that is supportive enough for you both can ensure that you are not unintentionally snuggling all night long.
- Temperature: If one or both of you gets sweaty and hot when you sleep, this is a major consideration when shopping for a new mattress. Generally speaking, innerspring mattresses are cooler whilst memory foam mattresses tend to absorb body heat. However, there are many innovative products on the market now to help with airflow and staying cool while sleeping. Check out our recommendations for cooling mattresses.
Types of Mattresses
fter discussing your needs as a couple, there are four main types you and your partner will likely see as you start your search. Each type of mattress will have its own pros and cons so this is another important discussion that should take place when mattress shopping.
One of the most common mattress types is an innerspring mattress
. The major drawback to an innerspring bed is that motion can be felt and some noise heard. However, innerspring mattresses are generally very budget-friendly, many couples enjoy the bounce and responsiveness for sex, and innerspring mattresses can keep you cool while you sleep thanks to great airflow. With all of the wonderful options currently available, you can find an innerspring mattress to fit your needs for support and comfort.
If you like the bounciness of an innerspring, but want a little bit more of a conforming feel, a hybrid mattress
may be right for you and your partner. Hybrid has a supportive base of pocketed coils with plush layers of foam for the conforming quality so many people desire. These mattresses are better for motion isolation and noise thanks to the foam layers, but also because of the foam layers, you may sleep a little hotter. Again, there are ample options available for you and your partner to find your perfect fit.
Memory foam mattresses
are great for couples because the motion isolation and noise level are wonderful; you will not feel or hear your partner getting in and out during the night. However, many couples find that this is not great for sex as there is very little bounce, and many consumers complain about getting overheated while sleeping on a memory foam mattress. Some memory foam mattresses are manufactured with cooling technologies, and if you and your partner desire the plush, almost weightless feeling of sleeping on memory foam, you can certainly find something that keeps you cool and cozy.
Lastly, with the feel of memory foam, but slightly cooler and more responsive are latex mattresses
; these tend to be on the pricier side, but are also very durable and long-lasting. Latex mattresses are a fantastic choice for you and your partner if you want the conforming, pressure-relieving qualities of memory foam, but with more eco-friendly materials. As mentioned, latex mattresses also have a bit more responsiveness, which is a plus for sex, and they will help keep you cool while sleeping.
Best Couples Mattress Shopping Tips
After discussing needs for motion isolation, noise, temperature, and mattress types with your partner, hopefully, you both feel ready to hit the ground running when shopping. As you are shopping around and looking into different mattress companies, consider their policies such as trial lengths and warranties. If you’re the type of couple that are going to invest in a high-quality mattress for your relationship, you want to make sure it is the right one. Many companies offer a sleep trial (ranging from 30 days to 120 days) so you can return the bed hassle-free if it does not suit your needs. And once you do find your dream bed, you want to make sure it is covered, so look into your company’s warranty length. Finally, see if your company will take away your old mattress and set up your new one for you; some companies include that in their delivery fee, some charge a bit extra for it. These are just a few more important topics to discuss to hopefully lead to an easy, hassle-free mattress buying experience.
While there are so many needs for a couples’ mattress and so many different types to consider, do not forget the most important metrics: if you and your partner are sleeping well, not having any back or joint pain, and most importantly, are happy, then you have found the right mattress for you and your special someone.